Ever get that feeling…


Do you ever have that feeling like you’re supposed to be doing something? I’ve had that feeling since I graduated. My friends tell me that I should take a break and not worry so much, but it’s hard. I’m pretty sure that my anxiety doesn’t help by reminding me that I should be doing so much more since I graduated. I feel that I’m doing a good job so far then there are times I feel like I’m not doing a lot like I could be.

I’m trying not to get down when I go on my newsfeed and see people either getting jobs or homes or cars. I know that everyone gets things done at their pace, though sometimes I can’t help feeling like I’m not doing enough. Sometimes it feels good that I don’t have to register for classes or have to get books then there are times I think I’m being lazy by not doing enough.

I do have one little class I’m taking, but I’ll be done in five weeks. After going to college for over 5 years, this little class feels like a breeze. My only problem is I’m not too sure what to do once the class is over. I’m looking for work and reworking my resume. I am worried that my lack of job experience will hurt my chances for getting hired. I’m trying not to let it worry me that much even though it sits in the back of my mind. It’s pretty hard to try and keep that under control when my anxiety starts to spike and so many questions run through my mind like:

Should I be sitting here?

Shouldn’t I be writing?

Shouldn’t I be frantically looking for work?

I remember when I frantically looked for work before in the summer when I was on break before fall semester. It’s a little bit hard since there’s only one car at my house and the public transportation isn’t the best. (I don’t think it’s very safe to take the bus in front of an abandoned building.) I think another thing that’s bugging me is the need to do something different. My life has been in a very similar cycle for a long time since I was always in school. Now I’m out, I’m realizing that there are things that I want to do.

Yes, I know I have to find a job along with finding different ways to support myself, yet I can’t help feeling that I’m restless for change. (It can also be my Gemini nature speaking up too.) I do think that maybe a change of scene will help. Life hasn’t been the best. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been super excited or happy about something in a long time. I’m tired of being unhappy, stressed, and I’m looking to make sure that the rest of my life is a happy one.

I really want to try and be happy. I want look for ways to help with my anxiety and depression. I’ve been doing it on my own for awhile that I think it’s time for some outside help. It would be nice not to get crippling anxiety when it comes to playing video games, applying for jobs, or writing. I think the biggest thing I need to do is give myself credit for graduating with all the things thrown at me. I did it.

I should probably take it easy and give myself a break.

There are times I forget to do that, but I’m going to do a better job in doing so.

Does anyone else get that feeling?


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