Man, I can’t believe how fast May left. It’s already June in some places which means my birthday is almost here! I’m going to be 26 this year. I can’t believe I’m almost finished with my twenties and I’m four years away from thirty. I’m not complaining though I still made it after all those times where I thought I wouldn’t. I used to have some pretty dark thoughts. I have pretty good health and I’m almost out of school so I’m looking forward to my birthday. ^^ The reasons why I’m happy about my birthday will be another post this one will be about the end of May. Here are three positive things about May.
Found more of my confidence: I’ve always had problems with my confidence after years of trying to make sure that everyone was happy, but not really caring about my own happiness. Being bullied didn’t help along with the negativity I faced when my dad was sick, I reverted back to my scared self too afraid to do anything. I couldn’t even look in the mirror without falling back into my middle school habit of imagining someone else’s face on my body. However this May I took the steps to get my self-confidence back. I bought a wonderful book called Commit by Linda Formichelli (I will do a proper review of that book soon because it helped me out so much!) that helped me find the self-confidence I pushed back for so long. I took the initiative on different things in my life like my education, my writing, and my self-esteem. It might have caused me to lose someone I was once friends with, but I realized that someone who tries to push me into something after not listening to me isn’t really my friend. Now once I get over my shyness I’ll be going somewhere ^^
Stopped beating myself up: This was another thing I used to do constantly. If anything went wrong or if something didn’t happen I blamed myself for it. I’m pretty harsh when it comes to myself especially when it comes to the things I want to do. By the end of May I can safely say that I haven’t beaten myself up and I feel so good! Whenever I feel like I’m going to slip back into it I take a breath and talk to myself as if I was talking to a friend. After that I could narrow down the problem and try to solve it the best way I can. I feel wonderful and I want it to continue.
Made it through my semester: This one was touch and go for a bit I’ll admit. There were times where I became so tired that I nearly gave up. I pretty much ran on coffee, ate whatever I could, and tried to go on a sleeping schedule. Thanks to supportive words from my friends and family I was able to finish strong. Now I’m in my last semester and I couldn’t be happier! Though I know I didn’t get this far by myself I’m really happy that I’m almost there. Next comes trying to figure out if my home is in Michigan or somewhere else.
It’s amazing to think how fast May came and gone. It always feels like time is moving so much faster when I’m sure it’s moving in the same speed, just the things in my life have changed to make it move faster. Well, May is going to leave soon in my part of the world, then June will be here. Here’s hoping June will be awesome since it’s my birthday month after all! ^^ Do you all have any positive things about May? I’d love to hear it!
Sorry for the absence of last week, but life am I right? Well, let’s jump right on in! I am so happy to announce that I’ll be graduating soon! I have one full semester before I will be a college graduate! However, I am very nervous and scared about what comes next. I’ve been in school for so long that I didn’t think I would ever graduate. I didn’t have this feeling when I first entered college. When I first enrolled, I looked forward to graduating with my degree in Elementary Education. I defended it when people talked down about it, I showed them my progress, and I made sure to always let people know that there was nothing wrong with my field. However, my feelings towards the program changed after they told me that I had four more years before I graduated. Not to mention more hours with children after I did over sixty. I was already pushing four to five years in the program, however they told me that it didn’t count because I didn’t go through the spring/summer semester. I tried to ask them if there was something I could do to work it out, but that didn’t work. In the end I had to make a decision, try to go through my program while being disillusioned with education or change my major to a subject that I liked.
This happened during the fun time when my depression and anxiety was high from the stress of school and my father’s passing, so I didn’t know what to do. I thought that I had failed somehow and that there was no reason to keep going through school. It took me a lot to be able to get up and go down to campus when all I wanted to do was stay in my room all day. I fell into a routine where I would go on campus, but would skip my classes because I didn’t see a point to it. A few days before I had to fill out the paperwork to change my major I took a day off and walked around a bit. It helped me clear my head since I thought my work had been wasted. After my walk and some sweet things to eat, I stopped beating myself up over it. I made a decision that my meeting to change my major would help me decide if I would stay or go. When the day arrived I was so nervous I could barely eat. I almost left before they called me, but I stayed and they walked me through the process.
It turned out that my work hadn’t been wasted after all. I had enough English classes to spend only a little bit more time in school before I could graduate. My time had been cut down from four years to an extra one. I couldn’t believe it. I was so excited that I almost dropped my pen while trying to sign the paperwork. I took some classes that helped me keep my decision to stay in college for me and not for anyone else. Though I did tell my one teacher that her class helped me decide if I wanted to stay or not and she felt pretty good about that XD. I even got help for my math class (since I’m not good in math ><), went to therapy, and found some books to help keep my confidence up when my anxiety and depression flares up. (I’m trying not to get on meds because of insurance, pay, and other things.) I can say that changing majors went from being the worst thing ever to being one of the greatest things that’s ever happened to me. If I didn’t switch my major I wouldn’t have decided to start up this blog again or return to my story or study editing again.
So while this journey hasn’t been easy I’m glad that I stuck to it.
Now I just have to keep up this momentum when I graduate and not worry about it too much. 🙂
I’m curious for the people that are in college, have gone, and everything in between:
Today I’d like to thank my 102 subscribers! Wow I am pleasantly surprised! When I first started this blog, I did it as a landing page for my serial fiction, then I started writing about the different topics in writing, romance, and my time in college when it grew. Even when I had to go on long hiatuses and revamped my serial, you all were there and I can’t thank you enough! I went from hoping that I would have 25 subscribers now to 102. Thank you so much!
However, now that I have 102 subscribers I would like to know if there is anything that you’d like to see. More posts about the technical side of writing like editing and grammar?
How about posts about the romance genre?
Is there any character from my serials that you’d like to know more about?
Tips about college?
A topic that you like to know my view on. I do match the icon in my about me page, but I will screen those questions if I need to.
How about when I talk about my favorite characters from different tv shows? Along with Steven Universe, I watch Gravity Falls, anime, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
I’d like to know about some of the things you would like to see more of.
Hello everyone! It’s so great to be able to write like this again. While I love being an English major, there have been some times where I wanted to yank my hair out. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing. It’s something I’ve been doing since I could pick up a pen and put down the adventure of a girl with her cat. However, there are some things I come across while writing that makes me want to put everything up and never visit it again. I could never stay away for long though, but there were some times in English that made me want to explain that I’m writing not reinventing the wheel. Here are my three reasons about why that is.
It will never be perfect: I understand that many of my professors wanted me to go beyond my abilities and make the perfect paper. However, there is a problem with that, it will never be perfect. Sure, I can work on it, until it looks good to me though I know it will never be perfect. If I tried to make everything I write perfect then I would never get anything finished. I used to feel that everything has to be perfect before I published it or turned it in when some of my best work has been written a few hours or days before my deadline. The times I’m not worrying about making it the most perfect of papers ever. If it’s one thing I learned it’s not to be so hard on myself when it comes to that. I know that I can always improve and while it will never be perfect, it will be good to me.
Ideas are constantly recycled: If there’s one thing I’ve noticed it’s the way that ideas are recycled. While it may be a new set of characters, setting, and plot there will always be certain things that happens in a story. There will be a hero looking to fight the villain, two people looking to fall in love, someone taking a soul searching journey, etc., Sure the way the ideas are written will be different along with the problems that they face, but the main ideas are recycled to fit the era that they are written in. I’m sure many of my papers and stories aren’t the newest ideas, but I’m trying to approach it in my way with my view of the world.
Clichés are alright: I don’t know if it’s common, but I don’t have a problem with a cliché. I don’t know if it’s because of me, but I have no major problems with clichés. There are a way to add a little twist to clichés and present it in a different way. If I read a story that has a cliché I don’t mind too much. It might sound lazy, but sometimes I like reading a story where I know what’s going to happen next. After spending so many times trying to reanalyze a piece and find something that no one has found before, it feels good to be able to read something that I know will have a happy ending or that the hero will make it alright. I don’t think clichés are too bad. I think you can use them for inspiration too.
I have a few more, but overall I don’t see writing as reinventing the wheel. I see it as adding a new design to the wheel or upgrading a car with a brand new sets of wheels.
What about you? Do you agree or have a different view about writing?
Hello everyone! I have to make a small little blog for my class, but after that I will be finished! So guess who’s back with a post about writing that will come out a little bit later today, but I’m so happy to be back and be able to write again without having to worry about the many deadlines I had for school. I’ll do a few posts about my school experience since I’m so close to graduating that I’m happy about it and scared of post-graduation life at the same time. I’m sure I’ll do the writing one and I’ll post the one about my school experience when I’m finished. It’s great to be back!